I’m about to engage in wild scientific supposition based on completely unscientific and circumstantial evidence.

I had my first experience with the millimeter wave detection machine at the airport this morning. I don’t think it caused any permanent damage but they did say that my right front pocket was a hit. So, the nice man with the soft hands patted down my pocket and found nothing.

Then, it occurred to me that my right front pocket is where I always keep my iPhone. So, I can only surmise that my iPhone has turned the top of my right thigh into a bomb that I can only control with an app from the App Store.

Luckily, the app is only 99 cents.